Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Self Expression

When I was in high school, mum always scold me when I was having a boyfriend. I hate my life when I was fifteen year old. Because during that time, was a peak time of my jahiliyah life! I am seriously don't wanna meet those people again that I knew in that time. It is going to be a nightmare for me if someday my future-husband is directly or indirectly related to them. I hope that will not be going to happen.

I barely updated my social networking accounts especially Twitter (and Facebook too). When I went through all history posts that I've done before, I felt like crap! Why I was really damn stupid that time? Where is my value? How can I treat anonymous-es like they were my best friends? Why I was so gedik with immature boys that time?


I want everybody knows me. What a pathetic girl I was before.

"Hi back!"
"My name is.... I live in... My age is...."

Yeyy yeyy that was kind of me before. BEFORE. If I can go back to that time to meet my old self, I'm gonna slap myself hardly for hundred times.


But now everything has changed. I feel different. To be "reborn" for someone new. My mum always ask me whether I'm now dating with someone or not. My answer is NO. Because I really not feel to have a boyfriend for this current time. Lots of dreams to catch, lots of works to be done.

Sometimes, I feel I am a bit strict and hard to get near or men are scared to come near me. Mum told me that I should be a little graceful lady so that people would be free to come near me. But I haven't tried to be such a graceful lady yet as I am not really thinking about in-a-relationship

Actually I have crush. We met accidentally. He is my friend's friend. We haven't talked much. Just met twice just because he is gonna meet his friend (which is my friend). That's why I can see him. If not because of my friend, I will not be able to meet him. But, I can feel there are some things in his inner self that could attract myself to like him crazily but in silently!

So, to shorten the story, I think I will not be able to meet him again as my relationship with my friend has faded away. So, I probably think I should start get rid of my crush from my head hahaaa

I explained everything to mum about this (about the other boys too that are currently contacting with me). But seems Mum is more likely interested with my crush. She remembered his name. Whenever I'm being at home, she will ask me about my crush. She said I should make the first step to approach him. Ya Allah... how mum how? Yes I have his number but by just having number not courage still not enough.

Wish he will accidentally read my blog (or maybe he doesn't even know I have blog). If you read this, I think you will know I'm now talking about you. Just wanna say, I like your behaviors, attitudes, kind-heart and manners you're applying to people around you. May you find happines in your life.

I think I'm going to stop typing now. Enough for today. This blog must be super super boring now yeah I know.

Goodnight peeps! xoxo

Written by,

get myself a new hobby! SBU lover and loves trying their super pretty clothes/dresses but not buying. kihkihkih

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